How to Help Someone with Depression

I have written about my personal experience with anxiety and depression before, but I have not covered how this affects my family and those closest to me. A lot of times, those of us who have mental issues tend to only think about ourselves and not how we affect our loved ones. At times I feel self-centered and selfish when I realize that I only focus on my problems.

 My family loves me very much, and I know at times it can be hard for them to see me during my lowest moments. I know this, because my sister also has depression. It is a pretty awful feeling to have a good day, then see that she is struggling to make it through the day. I understand how it’s like and seeing her go through the same thing kills me. There is always a silver lining though. Because I understand her, I can be a source of help in her life and vise versa.

If you think that a loved one might be going through depression, read up on how to know if someone in your life shows signs and symptoms. An article in mayoclinic.org says that symptoms vary from person to person and they can include:

• Changes in sleep (insomnia or sleeping too much)
• Irritability, getting angry over small stuff
• Anxiety and restlessness
• Talking about dying/ suicide, even joking too often can be a sign.
• Trouble remembering things
• Slowed thinking, or body movements

Now that the signs are known, there are some things you can do to show support:

• Listen, listen, listen. Actually take interest in what the other person is saying without judgment.
• Get that person out if you can. Go for a walk or coffee with them.
• Ask questions in order to understand that person. This will open up the lines of communication and make the other person feel heard.
• Encourage treatment. If you feel that this person needs professional help or is on the verge of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
• Give positive reinforcement. People with mental illnesses are very hard on themselves. Sometimes they need to be reminded of how much they mean to the world.
• Learn about mental disorders. The more you understand the person and what they’re going through, the better you will be able to help.
• Have patience! Depression and anxiety can be helped. It might take a while to find the best treatment, but they will get there with love, support, and patience. Remember that it is no one’s fault.

This article on healthgrades.com goes through tips as well, but they cover something vital that isn’t talked about often. This is what NOT TO DO:

• Don’t tell them to “just be happy,” or smile. I hate when people do that. I don’t have a “happy switch” that I can turn on when I’m sad.
• Do not pressure that person into doing things. Offer to take them out or talk, but don’t push. If they are not ready, they are not ready.
• Don’t ignore someone’s cries for help. They can be subtle things like bad jokes about dying or being distant. They may not ask for help, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need it.
• Don’t downplay mental illness. Don’t imply that the person is weak or a burden because they can’t control their emotions.
• Do not judge or criticize. This should be obvious, but for some people it is not. It can cause more depressive symptoms and worsen their mental standing.

No one is perfect, and we all have our demons. Be kind, Be patient, Be love.